Change

Dec. 6th, 2015 07:41 pm
matsumelrose: (pic#8202706)
[personal profile] matsumelrose
I'm going to have to make some big changes in my life. It will almost completely change the direction I have set out. I have made some pretty bad choices in that past, for which I'm still paying. Now it will have to stop.

I am going to enroll into the THIRD university in my life. If I had sticked to the first one, I would be graduating next June. But I was lazy and unmotivated. I thought I deserved better. I enrolled into NU in JP and thought this would be it, I would be departing to adulthood only two years late, no big deal. But this time, I fucked up the financial plan. I couldn't afford myself and my parent's support was insufficient. I had to go back. I was depressed. I hated my life and everything. I blamed everyone, me, my parents, the school, people who are more well-off than me. Eventually, I got back to my feet. Eventually, I have to move on. I have to figure out a plan. 

Plan A: I stay back, working while trying to get a Diploma degree and hope to graduate and start working by early 2018. Plan B: I get a scholarship to MU, start all over again, and get a college degree by early 2020. Finance-wise, with Plan B, I won't need to ask for my parent's support and can save up a good fund when I finish university. But it will be a little late and I might not be getting the scholarship at all. With Plan A, I still need a little help from my parents but I will can start working earlier so I can pay them back. I will only get a Diploma though, but I'm planning to enroll in a distance undergraduate course, hope to get a degree by late 2019. 

So Plan A will give me more work experience, two not so great degrees, maybe a JLPT N1 on the way and tiny saving account. Plan B will give me a great degree, a tidy sum after I graduate if I'm hard-working, no work experience though. To me, Plan B sounds a lot better than Plan A. The only thing is, Plan B can only happen if they give me that scholarship.

I will know where my life will be going in a month and a half. Now I have to contend with my temporary job, which pays quite well though a little boring but it keeps me from living off my parents entirely and helps me save up money. I'm also grateful for my friends, who show their support to me no matter what. One of whom even got me into a great project because he knows I need to be busy - and I AM. I'm at twenty-one, and next year, most of my friends will be graduating. It's hard to be one hundred percent happy for them without pitying my situation. But I'll try to stay positive - in fact, it will be my only solution for 2016 - stay positive and productive. I have made mistake, paid for it and learned my lesson. Now I just have to go on and live fulfillingly.

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